Originally posted on MySpace October 26, 2006
With the Blizzard that has just flown into town, it’s brought back memories of being trapped inside Target and all the wonderful things the human race has to offer when they do not know they are being watched. Here are some of my favorites:
-When the weather changes from the time you enter the store to the time you leave it, people must comment on it. “When did it start raining?!” People are generally surprised that the Earth continues to rotate and function, even when they are in Target. The same can be said for Daylight Savings…”I can’t believe how dark it is!”
-Every Christmas the Guest Service/Return area would move to accommodate all the people who were dissatisfied with their gifts. There was a large sign in front of the former counter saying that it had moved and where. But every year, every day, several times a day, people would come in, look at the empty counter, look at the sign and then turn to us at the Photo Lab and ask, “Where’s Guest Service?” We started counting how many times a day we had to say, “On the other side of the registers, under the Sports Wear sign.” Some days it was over 100.
-Now, most Targets that I’ve been in are fairly organized and try to keep similar items in the same area. This concept is lost on shoppers. When people are looking for a particular item, they usually think of it in an entirely different department. And they seem to forget that people are trained by department, so it’s unlikely they can help with said item unless it happens to be on the shelf right in front of them. They approach the nearest employee and ask them where the item might be. “Excuse me, do you know where I might find a solar-powered, glow-in-the-dark, talking compass that doubles as an elegant watch?” “Umm, ma’am, you’re standing in Dairy. You’re going to need to go to Electronics and ask them.”
-Just because I am wearing red and khaki does not mean I work here. I do not have a name tag on; I’m carrying my purse and perusing the aisles; I am talking on my cell phone; my shirt says “Wish You Were Beer”. Which clue is going to tip you off that it is unlikely that I am an employee of this fine establishment?