Post-Wedding Blues

Originally posted on MySpace July 17, 2007

I was warned. I knew it was coming. I thought by being aware of it, I could somehow manage to avoid it. But here I am. Two days home from my honeymoon and I am sad. Sometimes uncontrollably so, but mostly in a general funk. My wedding is over. My honeymoon is over. The last 18 months of my life were devoted to the planning of the most amazing and unforgettable day of my life. And now I sit at my desk, at the job I don’t love, wallowing in reality.

But OH what a day it was! Incredible, hilarious, amazing, touching, fun…so many other words that could describe it. I was surrounded by the most phenomenal group of friends and family that took time out of their days to help me do everything that needed to be done; I have never felt more loved than during this time. Their generosity and willingness was unparalleled and I was and am overwhelmed with gratitude. And when the time came, I could not have been more ready and excited to walk down the aisle. It was a beautiful ceremony with heartfelt words from my husband and just feeling surrounded by love.

So where do I go from here? Looking back at my blog from the year before the wedding, I was concerned about being wrapped in the day; forgetting the real reason it was all happening. And here, from the other side of it, having lived it, being sad that it went by too soon, I can lift my head up a notch. There are many more adventures to be had, many songs to be drunkenly sung, many laughs and tears to be shed. And you know what? I’m not going to miss any of it. People always say that they live life to the fullest, but what does that mean? If there was one thing I learned from the madness of the last two weeks, it was to stay present in the moment. Don’t think too far ahead and get lost in what’s coming; be in this moment and live it, feel it, breathe it in and out, enjoy the experience. And I did. I truly did.

And as an aside, a special thank you to Josh, my wonderful husband, for putting up with me the last year and a half, my tears of frustration of things not being what I thought they should be. I hope I gave you the wedding you always dreamed of. I know for me, it was perfection. I love you.

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