I want to write right now. I can’t figure out how to start. Words are escaping me as blood courses excitedly through my veins. I’m elated; thrilled to be alive; and most importantly, I feel more like a woman today than I have in ages.
The circumstances leading up to my feeling this way are complicated, and frankly none of your damn business thankyouverymuch. 🙂 But that is not what I want to write about. I want to write about this womanly feeling I have. Any menfolk reading this, you can probably pack it in now. This may not be the blog topic for you today. I’ll try to make the next one a little more about the funny, a little less about the “girl stuff”.
As a ‘woman’, which isn’t a word I use to describe myself normally, life is an emotional roller coaster. As this may be true for humans in general, I feel I can say with some certainty that woman deal with this roller coaster in a vastly different way than men do. While men see a logical response or answer to most of life’s issues, women become emotionally involved in their issues. This leads to the over-analyzing that drives guys bonkers. Sorry boys, it’s just the way we’re wired.
So, following this over-analyzing and other nonsense, women tend to turn inward. At least this is the case for me. I try and figure out what is wrong with me: what is it about me that is causing all these other things to happen (or not happen, as the case may be). And inevitably, for me, this leads to low self esteem.
I think I’m a good person. I have phenomenal friends who would do anything for me. I have an amazingly supportive family, my sisters are my best friends. I have a gorgeous child and a husband who loves me. My life is pretty effing great. How could I possibly have low esteem? The causes date back many years, but I won’t bore you with all that nonsense. All this jabbering is to come to the point of this blog, why I feel womanly.
For the first time in I don’t know how long, I feel beautiful. Truly beautiful. While a confident person, I have never thought of myself as anything more than average. (And please, no need to comment me in regards to that statement.) I have no qualms or issues about this. I don’t want to be anyone else than me. But to experience something that validates who you already are as a person, a woman, not who you should be, is dizzying (in a good way).
Maybe this is something people feel on a regular basis. If that is the case, then I am not one of these people. But I promise you, I will never forget the way this feels. And long after the newness fades, I will draw on this memory. I will remember ever-so-fondly that once, even for a short time, I felt beautiful.