Recent time spent in many airports provided some really great fodder for a nice little rant list. So I’ll skip all the BS and get right to it.
- I happened to sneeze while stuck at the Chicago-Midway airport for FIVE HOURS (that is a whole other story). Three people backed away from me. This prompted me to sneeze, cough and speak in Spanish for the sole purpose of freaking people out about the Swine Flu. Hilarity ensued.
- Overhead announcement: “Please cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze or cough. Wash your hands thoroughly and often.” Um, pretty sure that is called basic hygiene. Just sayin’.
- I only saw two masks the entire time I was traveling, which was disappointing in terms of the frequency, but absolutely comedic in the sighting.
- It’s the freaking flu, people! It’s not the plague, it’s not Mordor where ‘the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume’. It’s the flu. And last time I checked, we live in a fairly progressive country where vaccines against such things are readily available. So let’s calm the f*%$ down, shall we?
- So you can use the same bathroom stall as me, you can order food from some stand where you cannot see where the food is being prepared, you can use the water fountain. But I barely cough and you back three feet away. Does anyone else see anything odd about this? I had the beginnings of a poem weaving their way through my mind while waiting for a flight that seemed destined to never leave, but I didn’t have a pen and I couldn’t write it down. Something about food prepared, not being scared…damn, it’s gone.
- “Chicago Welcomes the American College of OBGYN’s 57th Meeting! We’re Glad You’re Here!” I don’t even need to comment on that.
- Southwest Airlines: I appreciate your automated system calling me to let me know my flight has been delayed. That is a time saver. May I make a suggestion? You should also call when said delayed flight has been moved back up so I don’t miss it altogether. That would be ever-so-helpful, thank you so much.
- I was needing an Internet fix so bad during the first interminable layover that I actually paid money, ten dollars to be exact, to get online for half an hour. Thirty lousy minutes cost me ten bucks – that is one-fifth of my monthly Internet bill and we’re probably online three to four hours a day. One of the biggest ripoffs ever. I want an iPhone so bad I can taste it…or at least I could if I had ever tasted an iPhone. I will probably end up with a Blackberry Pearl, but either way, Internet + phone = my immediate happiness.
On a totally unrelated note, I am LOVING the Nuggets right now – they have been playing amazing and I am enjoying going to all the playoff games and being a part of the best section in the whole arena, 366. Melo’s Yellows, baby!