The Business of Being Bored

You may or may not know this, but it takes a particular talent to keep up the appearance of being busy, especially when you are bored out of your freaking mind. I believe I have reached a professional status of this. And in the rare circumstance one of my co-workers reads this, everything that follows is something I just made up. Just now.

  • Typing almost always indicates that you are busy, especially if you are typing expeditiously, with a furrowed brow. Doesn’t really matter what you are typing. You could be writing, oh I don’t know, your next blog entry, but you come across as diligent.
  • The furrowed brow is a necessity in order to look engrossed. One must maintain a look of frustration in order to adequately convey busy-ness.
  • Surrounding yourself with piles of paper indicates you have much on your plate. Shuffling through said piles of paper takes it even one step further.
  • Talking out loud to your computer screen is also helpful, especially in an agitated tone. “Why won’t you do what I want you to do?!” is a good example.
  • When being spoken to, it is imperative to make minimal eye contact, as though what you are reading/typing/clicking is of the utmost importance and you cannot have your attention taken away from it, for even the shortest moment.
  • An exasperated sigh is a good tool, but it is key to not overuse it. In that instance, it just becomes an annoyance to everyone around you. OK, we get it, you are aggravated.
  • When answering the phone, if you speak very quickly, you give the caller the impression that you are rushed, have little time to spare, so please hurry up with what you are saying so I can get back to what I was doing.

Hopefully some of these tips will help you to better conduct your boredom into the appearance of working. Not that I would know. I did just make this up after all.

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